its a busy week for jenni and her journal.
tiredness has struccken. not sleeping is not the answer to anything but trouble. today i wrote a whole entry in my head. i cant remember it but ill try to put it down. it went something like this:
i grew up in a place where friendship loyalty wasnt an issue. everyone looked out for themselves and everything was normal like that. i knew where i stood with my friends, not very high up on the list of priorities. if there was an argument then the whole 'friendship' would end not just have a bump in the road. when i came here i expected the same. it had never been different and i didnt expect it to be. so life carried on i made new friends i formed relationships and they were exactly the same 'me me me' bonds that i had with people back home. toward the end of my first year i moved into a different building. it was for the best and i was much happier i met people that seemed to put others before themselves and i was grateful for such a change. my first summer in wycombe taught me a lot. i met people i actually had stuff in common with. people who had identical record collections to mine and people who genuinly laughed at my jokes. these people have turned into my friends. i live with some of them, im due to live with my best friend. she is called claire and i love her. without her i would not be happy. yes me and my friends have arguments, we have bitching nastiness as with every friendship group but at the end of the day we get over it and move on, friendship fully intact. loyalty is something that comes naturally. you fuck with one of us you fuck with all of us. we are the group in the corner on a monday night. we are the group that they made the posters for denial club for.
what bought this on? jam. my dear friend jam. me and jam have had a wonderful rollercoster of a friendship not every bit has been enjoyable but every part of it i will remember with great intensity. he picks me up when i fall he hits me round the head when i am crying for no reason. he is unconditional. today i went into where jam works expressing my upset because of some things that have happend in the last couple of weeks and the first thing he said when he saw my eyes filled with tears was 'who made you like this? i will knock them out i will kill them' - he wouldnt but he would have very strong words and if he was drunk he will 100% throw a few punches, hes not small and he would win, hands down. i laughed and told him it was ok and explained what had happend. within 3 hours four of my friends, who i know through jam originally but are my friends none the lesshave come up to me to make sure im ok.. offering to speak to the person upsetting me and offering drinks and cuddles. i love my friends, i love each of them unconditionally and perfectly. perfectly perfect friends.