things have happend in my life that have scared me. things have happend in my life that have made me so happy i could die right then and feel i had completed my mission in life. things have happend in my life that im not proud of. things have happend in my life that have made me do things im nbot proud of. people have come into my life and the memorys they have given me i will treasure. people have come into my life and hurt me more than i want to remember. i share my thoughts with people, i share my dreams with people. i share them with the wrong people often. today has been another classic case of people misinterpreting my words that were mine and of my thoughts of years ago and today. my words quite often make no sense at all to other people. people shouldnt even try to interpret them for all to often they will get it all wrong. im scared to leave my house for fear of what people think of me now. and its nothing i ever wanted to be feeling. i do not care much for anyone today. pete and claire are my only solitudes. my frienmds in time of need. the bearers of vodka and chocolate and words that will make me smile for the moment and words i will treasure from them. never look back, for its not worth regreting. ill try.