i cant go another nite without sleep. i have made an appointment at the doctors on terrys advice, however he believes that the doctor will give me vallium and i can sell it and drink wine with it, i believe otherwise. i doubt they will give me anything. fuck i cant go another night with 2 hours sleep.. and its not even sleep its daydreaming with my eyes closed i can still feel im awake. i can still feel and hear EVERYTHING!
i cant wait until my heart stops breaking. i miss him and i cant feel anything but him. crying doesnt seem enough and ive never been one to be a big emo kid about this stuff but this was my 'one' and i have never met anyone like him ever. why cant i have him? why cant he have me?
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.